David Williams – Going Through The Emotions

1 month ago   |   Words: Wes Pilgrimage

Inspiration hits when we come across figures who fulfil their potential, regardless of difficult personal circumstances. David Williams is one of those people. The young Liverpool entrepreneur has fended off debilitating bouts of anxiety and depression to grow two of the city’s most popular businesses – food hall Baltic Market and culinary magazine, Independent Liverpool. He also finds time to document his mental health experiences on his blog The Secret We All Share. We caught up with David to chat food trends, self criticism and Sister Sledge. 

What are you listening to, reading and watching at the moment?

Honestly? Love Island. No, I’m only kidding (partially). At the moment I’m reading ‘The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck’ by Mark Manson. It’s incredible. It teaches you that unhappiness is found in the search to be better, richer, skinnier and more and that if life gives you lemons, learn to like them. It has done wonders for me. I’m also watching The Staircase on Netflix, a murder mystery about a woman found mysteriously at the bottom of stairs.

Where’s the sweet spot between a healthy but tasty meal? What dishes would you recommend that tick both boxes?

For me I can’t get enough of a falafel bowl from Hafla Hafla at Baltic Market. It’s full of falafel, salad, charred peppers, couscous, spicy dips, yoghurts and more. It’s absolutely packed full of veggies, vitamins and all that other good stuff but feels naughty.

Do you think people are getting more adventurous with their eating habits? If so, what is influencing that?

Massively. I think social media has played a huge part in this but also it’s a natural progression from a multi-cultural society. We’re not only so lucky to live in a multicultural society in Liverpool but also to embrace it. On Bold Street for example you could travel the world through food whilst walking down one street. It’s that sense of intrigue to start new stuff that makes people want to try.

What are you favourite places to eat in the UK?

That’s such a good and hard question. For me though my favourites have to be: Maray, Mowgli, Neon Jamon, Little Furnace and I better stop before I keep going/order a takeaway.

What do you predict to be the next food trends? 

The next food trend will be Korean food. If there isn’t a Korean BBQ concept in Liverpool in the next couple years I’ll be so shocked. Also, South American street food is becomingly very popular as it’s very vibrant and largely vegan.

What has been your biggest life challenge so far and what did you do to overcome it?

I’d say the hardest thing I’ve ever had to overcome was life after my first ever panic attack. Whilst it was happening I had no idea what was happening, I honestly thought I had gone insane. Life hasn’t really been the same since that day… some good ways and some bad. I slumped into a crazy depression after it and spent every minute I was awake trying to stop myself having another panic attack. I cut all friends out my life and spent months in my bed and trapped in my head. Funnily enough it was Independent Liverpool that helped me overcome it. It got me out the house, meeting people and writing about my experiences was so lovely. Isn’t it funny how the worst thing in my life led to the best thing? I think that’s why Independent Liverpool means so much to me. It literally saved me. Not a lot of people know that.

What have you learned about yourself over the past five or so years?

I’ve spent my whole life being so incredibly overly critical of myself. In many ways I’ve been my own worst enemy and it can be hard. I’m slowly learning to be my own best friend again and to stop myself in my long-drawn thought processes that spiral out of control and to remind myself I’m a good person doing good things. I think I also learned that I’ve actually been suffering from depression and anxiety my whole life and it’s not a recent thing and the problems started within the family at a young age. But the older you get the more you realise your parents are just people trying to get by, trying to give you the best life they have with whatever resources they’ve got. That animosity towards a hard start in life can eat you alive unless you release it.

What would constitute a ‘perfect’ day for you?

I’m a big believer in it’s not what you do, it’s who you’re with. As long as I’m with friends, girlfriend or family that’s always a pretty good start. A perfect day for me though would be a huge cycle in the morning, a cup of coffee and a walk around Sefton Park in the afternoon and then a pub quiz with my mates or to go camping. Nothing like a date with nature to sort you out. Either that or a day of cooking. I absolutely adore cooking. See, I don’t ask for much!

For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

My job. I’m so lucky I get to talk about the city I love, meet interesting people every day and help local businesses achieve their dream. That is just the most incredible feeling for me. Also, having an audience we can encourage to be open about mental health and notify them about organisations yourself.

Complete this sentence: “Ace mental health for me means…”

Feeling content. Happiness isn’t something that is given, it’s earned and if you can manage to enjoy the little things in life, it goes a big way.

Do you have a daily routine of exercise or do you make it up as you go along?

I try to cycle to and from work as much as possible. If I don’t cycle I try to walk it instead. I’m also doing a couch to 10k at the moment and despite the lycra and crippling pain – it’s going alright. I could definitely do more though. My day is so much better when exercise is involved.

Here at The Mind Map we remember playing football and ‘tag’ – running around the playground everyday and loving it – can you share a similar memory?

A big thing for me was playing kerby as a kid. I think I’d still be outside playing that now if it weren’t for my Mum calling me in each night. I was lucky enough to live on a street with loads of kids a similar age to me so we’d ride bikes, play cricket, play footy and then end it with kerby at the end of the day. Those summers felt like forever, the days felt so long and times felt so innocent. There was nothing on my mind apart from throwing the ball at a kerb. I miss those days.

What three songs lift your spirits?

Sister Sledge – Thinkin’ Of You
Earth Wind & Fire – September
Sweet Female Attitude – Flowers

(who knew I had such guilty pleasures, eh?)

What advice do you offer to friends when they are feeling overwhelmed?

Talking is the biggest thing. Obviously it doesn’t fix everything overnight but sharing a problem with someone who’s willing to listen who obviously cares does wonders for the mind. I always say to people helping someone with depression isn’t about changing the metaphorical storm they’re under, it’s about holding up the umbrella once in a while. Depression and anxiety slaughters our vitality and our want to do things so I always try push friends to get out the house, go for a walk, see an old friend or go for a cycle to get the happy hormones going again.

False Heads – Going Through The Emotions

2 weeks ago   |   Words: Mark Taylor   |   Photography: Natalie Curtis

Having recently shared stages with The Libertines and Queens of The Stone Age, East London’s False Heads are proving they can transition from punk-rock basement gigs onto bigger platforms without compromising the intensity of their live show. With new recorded material soon to be released, Frontman Luke Griffiths discusses the importance of keeping your internal fire raging, and how to stop negative mental thoughts from putting it out: “Why does Shawshank Redemption get the number one film on IMDB? It’s life-affirming innit, it’s that hope that things can better”.

What are you working on at the moment?

We’re going on a 22-date UK/EU tour in September. Our latest EP ‘Less Is Better’ is being released across September and October. First as digital release in September, then we’re having the physical release and launch show party at Dingwalls, Camden in October. We’re already talking about an album too. We’re thinking about it pretty seriously, we’ve got the songs ready. I want to re-record some of the old songs for it and I’d like to record our more delicate stuff that we never really get a chance to show off live. I don’t want it to be flat out heavy punk music, I want it to be diverse, we want to create a body of work. Looking at the timeline, we’re looking to have the album ready late next year. We’ve got a lot of stuff going on.

What has been your biggest life challenge so far and what did you do to overcome it?

To be honest I’ve suffered from depression for as long as I can remember. Since I was 11 maybe, pretty heavily. I get bouts of it, then it sort of goes away then comes back. I’ve got a condition that causes me to have seizures that led to anxiety. I tried counselling for a bit and I tried antidepressants -they didn’t really work. I’ve got a good doctor that’s helping me deal with anxiety. The way I overcame it – well not overcame it because it’s not something you ever really overcome – is channelling it into something.

For me that was music, it was always music. It was writing lyrics, it was playing guitar that helped me channel that pain and misery that I felt. And also being a bit more open about it. I didn’t quite understand why I was feeling so miserable all the time. It’s that cliché of ‘Do I have a reason to be this miserable?’  I know the people I can talk to about it now: my girlfriend, and eventually my family. That stuff is never an easy conversation.

Depression tries to put out your fire, and you’ve got to do the right things to keep the fire going inside of you. Channel it into something you love – a hobby or a sport. Don’t let it define you, accept you’ve got a mental health issue, but you don’t have to let it take over your life, you can fight it . You’ve got to be willing to face it front-on and not allow that fire inside to be put out.

What would constitute a ‘perfect’ day for you?

Probably write a good tune, having a few drinks with my friends, having sex, playing an amazing gig and hanging out with my mates and girlfriend afterwards –  that’ll probably do the job. Or even things like sticking your favourite sitcom on or something.

What are you listening to, reading and watching at the moment?

I’ve been listening to quite a lot of Strange Bones and Calva Louise, and also a bit of resurgence in Elliott Smith, who I’d say is one of my favourite artists. Probably not the greatest example to give on mental health because he stabbed himself in the heart…or did he? There’s conspiracies surrounding it.

I read Radical by Maajid Nawaz. A story about his upbringing, he joined an extremist Islamist group, went to prison, read George Orwell in prison. He left prison, tried to secularise and reform his religion. Safe to say I’m not a fan of organised religion at all, he’s a bit of a hero of mine.

I watched Mindhunter, the one about the FBI detective after the Manson killings, and he goes around interviewing all the serial killers at that time. Based on a true story. It’s on Netflix, It’s incredible.

For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

My family, my friends, my girlfriend and music. I’m grateful for the drive I’ve got to make the band work. I’ll take some credit for that. I don’t really mind sounding like a conceited prick because I work really hard with the band and our music to get where we are. I’ll take it as far as I can possibly take it. I’ll take it to the very end.

Complete this sentence: “Ace mental health for me means…”

I’d say it’s waking up and being glad that you didn’t die in your sleep. If you wake up and you look forward to the day, that’s ace mental health.

What do you eat to stay healthy?

When I’m at home I do try and eat healthy. It’s difficult when you’re on tour, you do eat shit – until you’re getting catering and that when you’re in U2 or whatever. I’m trying to be a vegetarian, I’m trying to cut fish out. I don’t know if that’s had any real impact – that decision wasn’t because of any mental health issues, I just didn’t want to eat animals anymore. I don’t really miss it that much.

Do you have a daily routine of exercise or do you make it up as you go along?

I do a bit of boxing, a bit of jogging, sit-ups in the morning that type of thing. It does make a difference. I don’t have any real routine or anything, I just try to get in some sort of exercise. It does just make you feel better.

Here at The Mind Map we remember playing football and ‘tag’ – running around the playground everyday and loving it – can you share a similar memory?

I used to get these little Thomas The Tank Engine things, these wooden train tracks when I was a kid and my Mum and Dad got me a load of them. I think it might have been my 5th birthday. The whole day I was occupied with this little train set and I was really happy. Apart from that I’m really struggling to remember. Oh, and Florida. I went to Florida, I think I was 10 and I went on The Hulk ride with my Dad. Quality ride. I was in my element as well because I loved comics, I loved Spider-Man, they had Spider-Man wandering around in a pretty sick costume, and the Spider-Man ride where he webs you. That day was amazing.

What three songs lift your spirits?

A Question Mark by Elliott Smith – even though the lyrics are still pretty dark, I think it’s a great song.

Karma Police by Radiohead, for that uplifting awe-inspiring feeling. The ending, even though it’s still quite melancholy, there’s something about ‘For a minute there, I lost myself’. I actually think that section of that song is one of the greatest bits of music ever made. Including classical music and everything. It’s otherworldly.

Guerilla Radio by Rage Against The Machine if I was just gonna go for a flat out something that would get me pumped up.

What advice do you offer to friends when they are feeling overwhelmed?

If you feel like you need to speak to someone – speak to someone. Don’t question yourself. Speak to the person that you feel is best to help you, if they’re not about, speak to the second best person. And if you’re feeling completely overwhelmed there is no weakness or shame in it to ask anyone for help. Don’t let that fire go out inside of you.

 

Maven Grace – Going Through The Emotions

3 weeks ago   |   Words: Rebecca Durband

Maven Grace  are comprised of friends from Hong Kong, Connemara, Rome and London. Individually they have performed at Glastonbury and written Hollywood film sources. We caught up with the band’s Jason Magnus to discuss growing up in Hong Kong. 

What was it like growing up in Hong Kong? It’s a busy place!

Hectic and beautiful. The city moves at an insane pace but it’s also an island with the most calming coastline. I grew up in Hong Kong under British rule, then left for a few years, and when I returned it had been handed back to mainland China, all the while the city has always craved its own independence. So there’s a bit of a local identity crisis which feeds into the manic atmosphere of the city – it can drive me crazy at times but I definitely can’t live without it.

A large part of the population in Hong Kong practices Buddhism, is this something that you do?

Hong Kong is pretty multi faith actually – I’d say there’s an equal number of Buddhists and Taoists, as well as Christians in the city, and Confucian values are heavily followed in local education. I’m not a Buddhist though I believe in meditation and my wife and I try to fit in a Qigong session (a type of Chinese meditation involving rhythmic breathing) everyday – she’s more disciplined with it than I am.

Would your agree mental health awareness in Hong Kong and China has grown in the past decade?

Not really and I think it’s something that should be more widespread. Hong Kong can be very stressful with a huge emphasis on school grades for kids and earning a decent pay packet for young adults who can barely afford to live in one of the most expensive cities in the world. I’d say mental health awareness in Asia probably lags a bit behind the west because, out here, you really feel that there’s only so many hours in a day.

What are you listening to, reading and watching at the moment?

I’m loving ‘Prequelle’, the new album by Ghost, particularly the song ‘Dance Macabre’ and I watched Collateral the other day – no one makes movies quite like Michael Mann. And that scene where Audioslave is the soundtrack to Jamie Foxx speeding his taxi in the LA night…it really made me miss Chris Cornell’s voice.

I’m reading The Ground Beneath Her Feet by Salman Rushdie and I really don’t recommend it.

What has been your biggest life challenge so far and what did you do to overcome it?

Having music be an active part of my life instead of a passive one. The industry means it’s getting harder to be an artist and there’s a lot of sacrifices made by yourself and those closest to you in order to even have a taste of something you believe in. I’m in a band where everyone lives thousands of miles apart. The day we officially released our first song made things seem possible.

What have you learned about yourself over the past five or so years?

How much I need my friends. I’m an only child and the older I get, the more I realise I shouldn’t take my friendships for granted.

What would constitute a ‘perfect’ day for you?

Playing my old vinyl records, a couple of glasses of pinot noir, and a bowl of ‘sorrowful’ honey roast pork rice (incidentally, the winning dish in Stephen Chow’s God of Cookery)

For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

My parents, my wife – she gives me the balance I always thought I could do without.

Complete this sentence: “Ace mental health for me means…”

Staying calm when a storm is brewing.

What do you eat to stay healthy?

I drink a glass of hot lemon water first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

Do you have a daily routine of exercise or do you make it up as you go along?

Make it up though I try to do about 30 mins of exercise each day to kick up a sweat.

Here at The Mind Map we remember playing football and ‘tag’ – running around the playground everyday and loving it – can you share a similar memory?

Kicking a football in the parking lot after school with friends.

What three songs lift your spirits?

AC/DC – It’s a Long Way to the Top.  Rock ‘N’ Roll’s greatest band at their most youthful.  Remember this song playing at the end of School of Rock with all those Ramones posters in the background?  Music with no cynicism, it’s just pure joy.

Wu-Tang Clan – Triumph.  I have no idea what this song is about but the way I feel when all the MC’s each take turns on the mic makes me feel pretty invincible.  Inspectah Deck’s opening verse is just insane.

Bruce Springsteen – Thunder Road.  There’s a bunch of Springsteen songs that make me feel hopeful about realising impossible dreams, but Thunder Road makes you feel like you just swam the Atlantic and still have something left in the tank to walk across America.

What is your favourite self-help book, or motivational quote?

“You got to roll with the punches to get to what’s real” – Van Halen ‘Jump’

What advice do you offer to friends when they are feeling overwhelmed?

It’s ok to talk about it and time is a healer.

Redwood – Going Through The Emotions

3 weeks ago   |   Words: Rebecca Durband

Alt Hertfordshire five piece Redwood have recently released new single ‘Mother.’ – touring alongside the likes of Sam Duckworth, Indian Lakes and Fish Tank. We chatted to vocalist Conor Bond about family challenges and his junk food ban.

What are you listening to, reading and watching at the moment?

Hello! I’m having a hard time latching onto any new music at the moment. This isn’t for any kind of weird self-righteous reason, however I really enjoyed the new Young The Giant single that Alex (vox/guitar in Redwood) showed me the other day. Aside from that I’m sort of revisiting records that I’ve loved over the years. I’ve listened to American Football LP1 and Brand New Eyes by Paramore about 20 times each in the last two weeks. I’m currently reading Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts – I work at a golf course and one of the members whom I talk to about books quite a bit let me borrow it. My watching situation is pretty much the same as my listening at the moment. I just finished Brooklyn 99 for the 6th time. I will probably start Community again soon, and then watch the Harmontown documentary for the 100000th time.

What has been your biggest life challenge so far and what did you do to overcome it?

In the latter years of his life, my Grandad suffered with dementia. After having a pretty bad accident at home in Belfast, he moved in with us in Hertfordshire. He also had a major back surgery which we all helped in his recovery process, which was great, but exhausting, especially at 17/18 years old. It was pretty terrifying to watch someone who used to be so sound of mind (literally the most intelligent person I have met, even to this day) suddenly regress mentally and eventually come to no longer recognise you. I was told by my parents that this was “one of life’s shitty hands and you just have to get on with it, unfortunately”. We were all in the same boat so at least we had each other. Carrying him out of the church with my dad, his brother, and my brother was obviously heart-wrenching, but there was a small piece of happiness in that unity, and within that I thought to myself, “This is our last ride, George.” My friends came forward for emotional support in that time too, and I still don’t let them forget how grateful I am that they were there.

What have you learned about yourself over the past five or so years?

I’m 23 in less than a month, so five or so years ago I was still a teenager, so there has been plenty to reflect upon. I think above all, I have learned that I have a tendency for anger that can spiral out of my control pretty quickly. Although I don’t think this is uncommon amongst men, let’s be honest.  To combat this, I have tried really hard to work on patience and perspective. I’ve learned that it is so much easier to let things go and move on, than it is to hold onto something that has pissed you off and harbour feelings of resentment towards someone. By doing this, it’s only ever going to come out piece by piece on your friends, family or significant other, rather than the person who you’re holding the grudge against, purely because you don’t actually have the bollocks to confront this person who has “done you wrong”. I feel that it’s important to be able to see the bigger picture when it comes to these sorts of things. A co-worker has pissed you off? So what? You’ve got the weekend off; you don’t need to think about stacking shelves for the next 50 hours, nor do you need to dwell on a person you don’t see outside of your place of employment not doing a menial task “properly”. Let it go.

 What would constitute a ‘perfect’ day for you?

Waking up when my body tells me to. No alarm clock. A cup of tea within 30 minutes of waking up. All my mates also having the day off work. Clear blue skies, about 21/22 degrees. Maybe a nice meal out in the evening. I don’t know. There’s perfection in every day at some point if you’re looking for it.

For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

I hate to sound like matey off that “Every Pop Punk Vocalist” video, but I am incredibly grateful for my friends. I’m surrounded by a group of very hard-working, intelligent and creative people. Everyone is working on their own stuff right now and we’re all at a very similar point, where we’re almost at like a fork in the road. We’re all the verge of “taking the plunge” and you know, going balls to the wall and risking it all for our “art”*. I like that we have that in common, especially as none of them are trying to make it in a band. * I put “art” in quotes so I didn’t sound so pretentious, but I guess this disclaimer has hit that one home innit.

Complete this sentence: “Ace mental health for me means…”

Waking up in the morning and saying to myself “I got this”. Then proceeding to crush it throughout the day with whatever (if anything) needs doing without any mental roadblocks.

What do you eat to stay healthy?

My girlfriend and I are doing our best to cut out sugar and crisps and just general junk food. It’s not super difficult for us, as we’ve been vegan for over two years, so it’s just more fruit for when we want something sweet and it’s an extra handful of spinach on our plates at dinner.

Do you have a daily routine of exercise or do you make it up as you go along?

We’ve also gotten back into the gym. So we’re pumping iron 4-5 times a week – you don’t realise how good for you two hours a week of PE was until you’ve left school. I also play football a couple of times a week. I started taking my physical fitness a bit more seriously when I realised that a half-hour set onstage would KILL me.

Here at The Mind Map we remember playing football and ‘tag’ – running around the playground every day and loving it – can you share a similar memory?

When I was in Year 5 (9/10 years old), I got picked to start for the school football team. Five minutes into the first half, I Cruyff-turned this Year 6 kid who was easily a foot taller than me (I was a very small kid) and unleashed a rocket off my right laces (not unlike Stevie G). The ball struck the underside of the crossbar and dipped under the keeper’s head. I couldn’t believe it. I even got a shout-out in the next-day match report in assembly.

What three songs lift your spirits?

1) Never Meant – American Football

For a number of reasons. A) I first heard American Football shortly after getting a car. So Never Meant always reminds me of the freedom I felt being able to drive myself to work and college. I’m also on the American Football shit-posting group on Facebook – someone posted an amazing video of a compilation of Jordan Pickford saves in the 2018 World Cup, all syncing up with the first snare hit in Never Meant. I’ll send you a link.

2) Blood I Bled – The Staves

My girlfriend got me into The Staves. She found them on YouTube years ago and we both fell in love with them instantly. Any of their songs remind of the weightlessness of being 16/17. Anyway, this song gets me SO fired up. It builds so cleverly and all the instrumentation blends together as if it was crafted by a higher being. Near the end of the song also, is one of the best uses of tension and release I have EVER heard.

3) My Name Is Jonas – Weezer

Need I say anything?

What is your favourite self-help book, or motivational quote?

Quiet, by Susan Cain. It’s not really a self-help book, however it provides a pretty in-depth insight to the study of Introversion vs Extroversion. Not versus as in “meet me in the Thunderdome”, just talking about the differences etc. Anyway I picked up a copy when I was about 16; prior to this, I hadn’t heard of the concept of introversion and extroversion, but reading this book answered so many questions and almost justified what I had previously thought to be strange behaviour throughout my life. Nope, just an introvert mate.

What advice do you offer to friends when they are feeling overwhelmed?

It depends on what is making them feel overwhelmed. If it is a creative or interpersonal issue, I will suggest that a person should take a break and remove themselves from that environment for a short while. Whether it’s 5 minutes or 24 hours. Step back, reassess, jump back in. If it is something that isn’t quite as simple and can’t be solved by just calming down, whether it be money or work issues, I would suggest that you try to see the problem from someone else’s perspective. Not to belittle how someone may be feeling, but instead to encourage someone to come up with a logical solution to their problem. It’s a bit like asking someone for advice, but for control freaks.

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