What is borderline personality disorder?
01What are the symptoms of borderline personality disorder?
02What causes borderline personality disorder?
03How can counselling help with borderline personality disorder?
04Popular borderline personality disorder FAQs
05Getting Support
06Borderline personality disorder (BPD), also known as emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD), is a type of personality disorder that affects a person’s emotional responses. This can then impact on their own self-esteem and the relationships they form with other people.
A person with borderline personality disorder can experience particularly intense emotions that can be difficult to cope with. This can range from uncontrollable anger, fear of abandonment, feeling isolated, feeling stressed, and suicidal thoughts.
The condition can have a significant impact on everyday life, and can be particularly difficult to live with without the correct support and understanding. A person living with borderline personality disorder can experience challenges with getting on with other people, seeing other people’s points of view, maintaining stable relationships, staying in work, or maintaining a home.
It’s estimated that about 1 in 100 people have borderline personality disorder. Anyone of any gender or background can be affected. Women are more likely to receive a diagnosis of the condition, but this may be because men are thought to be more reluctant to ask for support with mental health conditions. Symptoms of borderline personality disorder can begin to surface in adolescence and continue into adulthood.
It is important to note that some people consider borderline personality disorder a controversial diagnosis. Some people find the term insulting or a particularly negative label, while others find that having a recognised clinical name for their symptoms provides a sense of validation. Whatever the position someone takes on borderline personality disorder diagnosis, everyone deserves to have their voice heard and their experiences understood.
The symptoms of borderline personality disorder will vary for each person depending on their circumstances and experiences. However, clinicians tend to group symptoms into four main areas: emotional instability, impulsive behaviours, unstable relationships, and disturbed thoughts and perceptions.
A diagnosis of borderline personality disorder may be given by a clinical professional if you experience at least five of the following symptoms:
• You feel extremely worried about being abandoned by people around you, and would go to great lengths to stop this happening.
• You find it hard to make and keep stable friendships and romantic relationships.
• You feel empty and abandoned for long periods of time.
• You experience intense, interchangeable moods (eg. feeling extremely happy and then suddenly feeling very low.)
• You experience difficulties controlling your anger, which can result in physical fights.
• You feel paranoid or experience dissociation when stressed.
• You feel confused about who you are, and your sense of self can change significantly depending on who is around you.
• You regularly display impulsive behaviours such as substance abuse, gambling, spending sprees, binge eating, dangerous driving, or sex addiction.
• You regularly self harm or experience suicidal thoughts and behaviours.
It can also be common to have other mental health conditions alongside borderline personality disorder. This could include anxiety, depression, dissociative disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), eating disorders, and others.
It’s difficult to pinpoint an exact cause of borderline personality disorder, though many factors are thought to contribute.
Stressful or traumatic events in your past are thought to play a role in the development of borderline personality disorder. Examples of these events can include neglect in childhood, physical or emotional abuse, bereavement, and instability within family life. These experiences may have led you to develop particular coping strategies and a negative sense of self that gradually become unhelpful over time.
Genetics may also be a factor in the development of the condition, as you are more likely to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder if a member of your family also experiences symptoms. No borderline personality gene has ever been discovered through research, which suggests that life challenges and learned behaviours from the past potentially have the biggest impact in its development overall.
Counselling can provide a safe and relaxed environment for someone with borderline personality disorder to explore their emotions and experiences.
Speaking with a qualified therapist can help you gain a better understanding of your thoughts and feelings, allowing you to discuss any important issues that may arise with the appropriate support on hand. A therapist can suggest useful tools to help resolve everyday issues while also identifying ways to positively change your attitude and behaviours.
Talking therapies are popular in the treatment of borderline personality disorder. Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) is a talking therapy developed specifically for the treatment of the condition, and can help you learn skills to manage difficult emotions and break cycles of negative thoughts.
Mentalisation-based therapy (MBT) has also shown results, helping you to recognise and better understand the mental states of both yourself and other people. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), the most popular form of talking therapy, has also proved useful in helping people with borderline personality disorder recognise the influence emotions have on behaviour.
If you are experiencing an urgent mental health crisis, seeking assistance from an emergency mental health service may be more beneficial than counselling. Visit the Samaritans website for more information on what to do if you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis. In urgent circumstances, contact the emergency services by dialing 999.
Are there different types of borderline personality disorder?
If a healthcare professional diagnoses you with emotionally unstable personality disorder (EUPD) rather than borderline personality disorder (BPD), they may identify a specific type of disorder associated with your condition. This could be ‘borderline-type’ relating to difficulties with relationships and self-harm, or ‘impulsive-type’ relating to difficulties with impulsive behaviours and anger.
Is borderline personality disorder more common in men?
Anyone of any gender can be affected by borderline personality disorder. Research has identified women as more likely to be diagnosed with the condition than men, but this may not be a true reflection of how common borderline personality disorder is within the population. It’s thought that men are similarly affected but are more reluctant to seek help with their mental health due to stigma and other social factors.
How can I help a friend or relative with borderline personality disorder?
One of the best ways to support a loved one living with borderline personality disorder is to offer understanding. Educate yourself on the condition and pay attention to the ways it affects your loved one’s daily life. Identify situations where they might become distressed, and remember that the condition could be influencing their words and actions. If you find yourself struggling to cope while caring for a loved one with borderline personality disorder, find a support group or healthcare professionals that can offer expert care and advice.